The great and noble Chicago based law firm of Fenton, Pettigrew & Cohenstein is world renowned. It achieved that status by virtue of its excellence, which includes excellence in publicity and public relations. One of its aspiring young partners came up with the idea of a Make Up For Peace event. This was to be a costume ball where world leaders and billionaires could strut their stuff. The rich and famous love to mingle with each other. The media loves to report on their mingling. Combine that mingling with the presence of the world's religious leaders, a world peace organization founded by Ronald Hump, and the presence of the three candidates for the U.S. presidency, Flinton, Hump and Niden, and the stated object of raising massive sums of money to foster world peace and serenity and how could you escape notice and praise. What better tool could a large law firm have to show itself off in association with the appropriate clients and potential clients? Hundreds of millions would be raised by the event. What could be better?

After the event a hugely happy dead clown was found in a service room where the event was held. The service room was attached to a room used as one of the dressing rooms for the event. Because the event was created by Fenton, Pettigrew & Cohenstein, its big nobody Managing Partner, Bumper Lohman, has to figure out who dood it to save their reputation. The firm's poofy serial killer young partner, Sean Featherbottom, gets away with it again.

- Candella Pukes: Victim. See below.

- American Serenity Providers Society (ASPS): World-wide religious organization headquartered in Chicago and headed by The Prophet Andy. Blessed be those who foster peace and the word of God.

- Detective Smokey Bongwad: Investigates the death of a clown at the MUFP event along with Sergeant Wilbert Gilbert. They investigate so many murders involving F, P & C, the prominent Chicago law firm, they might as well be on the payroll.

- Zenon Cohenstein: Vice Chairman of F, P & C. Super salesman. Good lawyer too, but what does that matter?

- Tambola Cook: Miss Leftwitch. Young lawyer at F, P & C. Keep to the left!

- Fenton, Pettigrew & Cohenstein (F, P & C): Large and eminent law firm for the wealthy with offices all over the world, including Singapore and Hong Kong. Headquartered in Chicago. Law begets peace.

- Trisha DeLang: Top grossing pop star. A client of John Sweeney, a F, P & C lawyer. Grandaughter of the richest man in Chicago who was found dead in one of the men's room disabled stalls at F, P & C a few years back. Potty mouthed.

- Joe DiBello: Young partner of F, P & C helping out with investigating matters involving the murder of Candella Pukes. Wife is Wilda.

- Miss Cuba Duba: A top producer at F, P & C. First woman member of the Management Committee. Georgeous.

- Will Emery: F, P & C lawyer for Deng Farnum.

- Father Mal Evolent: Chaplain of the Minneapolis Police Department who gets the Mercy Award at the F, P & C Annual Awards Dinner.

- Deng Farnum: Client of Will Emery who wants to produce software to front run the financial markets and blow up loud motorcycles. Knows software. Doesn't know ethics. Anyone who wants to blow up loud motorcycles is a good guy.

- Sean Featherbottom: Young F, P & C partner. Swishbucket galore. All the women love him. Boyfriend is Jason Kunz. Dressed as a clown for the MUFP (Make Up For Peace) event. Probably a serial murderer.

- Cranston Finkelheimer: Owner of McDermott's franchises. Friend of Mrs. Lickerman, Mrs. Fushay and Mrs. Pukes. Gave the murder weapon to Mrs. Pukes. Also runs a company planning to develop software video for traffic law enforcement. Lawyer is Sam White at Hooley & Kraut. Finkelheimer no doubt has a washing machine at his mansion, but what does it launder?

- Lady Fitch-Bennington: Pansy. English aristocrat with U.S. interests. Some creatures are attracted by honey. St. Charles, Chairman of F, P & C, is attracted by the aristocracy. He is not a fly.

- Sillary Flinton: President of the United States. Running for re-election in 2020. Seems to think she can take advantage of some new bat virus rumors floating around.

- Will Flinton: Husband of Sillary Flinton. Vice President.

- The Four Saints: The governing members of ASPS. The Prophet Andy, Cardinal Brandon Samuel, Rabbi Nathan Bierblatt and Imam Akmud Mahmood.

- Twilleta Fushay: A rich widow who is a client of F, P & C. Her businesses are in a trust managed by Mrs. Mary Lickerman, her trustee.

- Tina Goblat: Tete. Secretary for Bumper Lohman, Managing Partner of F, P & C. Do not mess with her.

- Winter Goren: Older F, P & C partner with a lot of show business clients. Known as the "Firm Fruit", a name he himself coined.

- Ronald Hump: Running for election as President of the United States in 2020 after having lost to Flinton in 2016. Hard to get rid of him.

- Mrs. Mary Lickerman: Acclaimed business owner and financial wizard. Manages the affairs of Mrs. Fushay as her trustee. Husband is Wilfred, nicknamed Bunny. He is rumored to be having extra-marital affairs with other women and men. So is she, but the details are not revealed so this is not a dirty book.

- Bumper Lohman: Managing Partner of F, P & C. A big nobody except when it comes to getting things done. Wife is Gloria who doesn't mind hearing about his mistress.

- Bungus LaRue: F, P & C Governmental Affairs partner. Lobbyist. Some clients are represented in court. Some are represented at the cash register.

- Make Up For Peace event (MUFP): Dreamed up by F, P & C's John Sweeney to produce more publicity for the firm. Costume ball for the leaders of the world to foster world-wide peace and serenity. Produced by F, P & C, OWEP (Organization For World Everlasting Peace) and ASPS. To the extent it raises a massive sum of money there is less money left for bombs so that fosters peace too.

- McDermott's: Fast food franchisor owned by the Fushay trust. President is Pregor Tallman.

- Moe Niden: Third party candidate running for President of the United States in 2020.

- Jerry Nuftdone: Head of Trusts and Estates at F, P & C. Head lawyer for Mrs. Fushay and Mrs. Pukes.

- Organization For World Everlasting Peace (OWEP): Founded by Ronald Hump. Governing members are: President Querty Werty of the Philippines, Supreme Leader Ping Pong Poo of North Korea, Supreme Leader Watwa Falamumbhi of Iran, President Taptoe Gerdogan of Turkey (Chairman), King Ibo Fado of Saudi Arabia and President Candy Apple of Zimbabwe.

- Phulpot Jewelry Exchange: Rare jewelry dealer in Singapore. A client of F, P & C's Singapore office headed by Benton McAllister.

- The Prophet Andy: Founder and leader of The Evangelical Congregation of the Angel Gabriel (ECOTAG) and head of ASPS, both headquartered in The Aspire, a 2500 hundred foot tall building at the mouth of the Chicago River. Jesus was not the son of God. He was just a prior prophet. It is rumored that somewhere down in Sardinia they are building a cross, but stuff like that is not revealed in this book.

- Candella Pukes: A rich widow who is a client of F, P&C. The dead, fantastically smiling clown. Shot with her own gun. Friends with Mrs. Fushay, Mrs. Lickerman and Graybourne St. Charles. She complains that her jewelry is stolen by a young partner of F, P &C named Sean Featherbottom. She shouldn't have done that.

- RBC: Resurrection Bean Cakes. Main supplier of the McDermott's franchises. Ownership is unknown. President is Felonia Rose.

- The River North Waxing Show Spa and Toner Salon: Beauty and gossip come together. Run by Herman Jensen. Sean Featherbottom talks about his clown costume there to Mrs. Fushay and Mrs. Pukes.

- Wiggy Rodriguez: Head F, P & C investigator.

- Pincus Ruhlman: F, P & C lawyer who brings his dog, Rotty, to the office. Rotty doesn't like St. Charles's Pussy.

- Graybourne St. Charles: Chairman of F, P & C. Graybee. Old line and snobby. Idiot. Keeps his cat, Pussy, in his office.

- Kelly Smith: Lawyer at F, P & C who handled a collection suit for The Swifton Bank against Glory Winners Corporation, a gambling casino operation, whose President is Wiley Coyoto, rumored to be having affairs with both Mr. and Mrs. Lickerman.

- The Reverend Warren Smith: Pastor of The Seventh Presbyterian Church where the real agents of God on earth may be found.

- The Reverend Begor Steele: Leader of the New Church of Blessed Redemption. Wants to be a member of the MUFP Committee.

- The Supreme Leader of Pompustador: Head of the newest nation composed of the former Israel, Jerusalem and Palestine. Host of the MUFP event.

- John Sweeney: Young partner of F, P & C with a growing list of show business clients. Free-mouthed Hey Duder.

- Arthur Swifton: Arty. Head of the Swifton empire, including The Swifton Bank, The Swifton Palace Hotel and numerous other companies, all clients of F, P & C. Friends with Graybourne St. Charles and Biffster McCain. Wife is Melba.

- The Three Stooges: Graybourne St. Charles, Arthur Swifton and Biffster McCain.

- Nowella Thumpfoot: Mayor of Chicago.

- Vlad, The Putin: President of Russia. Glorious participant in world peace.

- Jeffrey Wax: Partner at F, P & C. Head of Tax. He doesn't have much to say.

- Moira Weiner: The Whiner. F, P & C partner who complains about everything including having nothing to complain about.