Fenton, Pettigrew & Cohenstein is one of Chicago's most prestigious large law firms, headed by the even more prestigious Graybourne St. Charles. One morning a naked teen-aged prostitute is found dead sitting at his desk. Not entirely naked though. She has shiny black high-heeled thigh high boots on. Inside them is found a purple brooch. Who does it belong to and how did it get there? And what was our glorious Graybourne doing with such a person? Who done did it?

No cooperative soul comes forward to say I dood it so Bumper Lohman, the great big nobody Managing Partner, is told to clean up the mess and bad PR. He sets out to do so and in the process we find that scum does indeed rise to the top as we take a disrespectful look at the bonkeroonies who populate the legal system. Along the way we take a tour through parts of Chicago, past and present, and see why the Devil is afraid to go there.

The victim is Wendy Laymen a/k/a Ivanna Rubbadem, a teen age temptress who works as a cover for the ZoomShot messenger service. She came in to the firm offices around ten at night, ostensibly to make a delivery.

A lot of the top partners are involved. Steven Stonegold says he left a pass to let the victim in. Because, he says, he was in Seattle. In any event he says he was only doing a favor for Lincoln Beale who, in turn, says he was asked to let her in by Wanzer Levin. Beale had to be in New York so he asked Stonegold to let her in. Levin says she was going to deliver a document to him and he could not be there. The distinguished St. Charles says he was at his club.

The gun the victim was shot with belongs to St. Charles. He says it was stolen.

The brooch belongs to Sean Featherbottom, the young poofy associate who admits he saw the victim come in. He says she asked for Levin's office and he told her where it was and then left the building. So how did she get his brooch? In her boots? And what would Poofy be doing with her? Anyway, his alibi doesn't hold up. So Poofy - explain yourself.

Fingerprints are all over. In the victim's blood are found the prints of Stonegold and St. Charles. In St. Charles' private washroom are Featherbottom's. Did they gang up on the victim? That would be something that should be censored so this book could not be published if that was the case. Has a way been found around the censorship laws? Or do no such laws exist so that very well could be the case? What a mystery!

- Wendy Laymen. Also known as Ivanna Rubbadem. She has a record involving prostitution and drugs. Works for a so-called messenger service. What do you think they deliver? The victim. Young and gorgeous.

- Sean Featherbottom. Young gay associate whose purple brooch is found in the victim's boots. Now how did that happen? Last one to admit seeing the victim alive.

- Graybourne St. Charles. Chairman of Fenton, Pettigrew & Cohenstein, the grand and venerable large Chicago law firm. An old line waspy anti-Semitic snob. Of superior lineage, impeccable credentials and at the apex of any ranking system you care to mention. Just simply superior. So what is a dead little whore doing in his office?

- Zenon Cohenstein. Vice Chairman of the firm. He brings in the business. Unfortunately for St. Charles, Cohenstein is a Semitic.

- Bumper Lohman. Managing Partner of the firm. A big nobody. A person of no importance. He just gets the job done and nobody notices. They take credit for it though. He tells us who did it.

- Trisha DeLang. Potty mouthed teen idol. Shows off her new dance and song number, The Pimpadoodle, and dances right on into St. Charles' office and discovers the body whereupon we hear some potty from the mouth.

- Steven Stonegold. He left a pass to let the messenger in. Says he was in Seattle.

- Wanzer Levin. Wanzy. Supposedly the messenger was delivering a document to him while he was elsewhere. A big guy.

- Winston Camelman. Partner who tries to steal the clients of other partners, especially St. Charles'. Has it in for St. Charles. A shrimp, except for his ego.

- Kevin Bainbaum. Another associate who Sean Featherbottom says saw him leave the building. Bainbaum denies it. Doesn't like gay guys.

- Blondella Dumay. Another young associate who is Bainbaum's girlfriend. Thinks Sean Featherbottom is cute.

- Mititz Gladman. Partner who is the Chicago Scrap Metal Dealers' 2012 Lawyer of the Year. Author of "Legal Aspects of Commoditization of Scrap". Speaker at the firm's President's Day event.

- Tina Goblat. Tete. Lohman's secretary. 6 foot tall and 220 pounds. People do what she tells them to.

- Detective Smokey Bongwad. He knows who did it and he busts in to the firm's President's Day extravaganza with a bunch of storm troopers to nail the guilty party just before the show, Priscilla and The Magic Prince, is set to begin.

- Sargent Wilbert Gilbert. Bongwad's sidekick.

- Louie. Lohman's Great Dane.

- Pussy. St. Charles' cat which he keeps in his office.

- Missing Character. There should be psychiatrist involved here, but no such luck.